How do I write effective marketing copy for industrial and technical buyers?

Industrial and consumer copy differ in many ways, but the biggest single difference is the amount of technical detail.

A direct response copywriter was asked to write a mail package for a complex electronic control system. He said, “I don’t care what it does or does not do. Buyers are all just people.”

In effect, he was saying: All copywriting is the same: it’s basically one person selling to another.

The direct response copywriter was wrong.

You can always find similarities, if you look hard enough, between industrial and consumer copy. But what about the differences? You can say that engineers, managers, and purchasing agents are just like every other consumer. What’s different? Well, they’re a lot more interested in technical information than other consumers.

Here are ten things to keep in mind when you write your next ad, direct mail package or catalog. I guarantee you will get better response.

Tip one: be accurate. Industrial products address specific problems, and buyers demand exact information on the product’s capabilities and limitations: does it do this? does it do that?

Don’t whitewash. Industrial buyers are among the most sophisticated audiences. They will sniff out any whitewash, exaggeration or “white lie” in seconds and toss your copy.

”Handles the toughest injection molding jobs.” Nothing. “Handles pressures up to 12,000 pounds.” Something. A technician reader can’t imagine the first claim, but he can get a clear picture from the second and make a realistic buying decision.

Here’s an easy tip to make your copy more specific: use the concrete, specific word rather than the general.

Usually, the more general the word, the vaguer it is. So “bad weather” is open-ended, while “rain and snow” is more specific. “Heavy” is vague, “over 15 tons” is precise. “Experimental apparatus” is unspecific, “a dozen gas chromatographs” is exact.

Accuracy matters too, because a single technical error can destroy the credibility of an entire promotion — as a single spot on the sleeve ruins an entire suit. If the copy is loose or sloppy, readers may think the product is just as bad.

An error in tech copy convinces the reader you don’t know what you’re talking about — and you certainly won’t be able to fix his problems. Technical errors show a lack of knowledge, say the authors of Technical Writing: Structure, Standards, and Style (McGraw-Hill), and no amount of persuasion can change a buyer’s mind if he thinks you don’t know what you’re doing.

Tip two: check the numbers. Too many writers became writers to avoid having to do math. Students better at math than writing became programmers, accountants, media buyers. Copy for industrial prospects is different. You may have to renew an acquaintance with numbers.

In the real world, if you thought a popular magazine cost $169.50 per year instead of $16.95, you’d put down the subscription card and look elsewhere for something that costs $16.95. The industrial buyer is thinking the same way.

Technical errors are harder for you (the writer) to catch. Is a reverse osmosis filter’s pore size 0.005, 0.00005 or 0.0005 microns? To an engineer, that spec is just as important as price. Get it wrong and you’ll blow the sale. If you supply an incorrect spec., the engineer will assume you are just as ignorant about the thing that he is trying to solve.

To prevent a single error from ruining a sale, you and the agency (and, ideally, a representative of the client) should carefully proofread the copy and check it against the original technical information.

Clear and Concise

Tip three: keep it short. Industrial and technical people are busy.

Engineers, scientists, executives can’t read everything they see. Make your message clear and concise.

In the business-to-business world, seldom is heard a plea for a four-page letter. Time is too precious. Most sales letters are one page.

In Strunk and White’s book, “The Elements of Style,” they note you should make every word count. Slim your copy by squeezing out meaningless or turgid passages. For instance, “rain” and “condensed atmospheric droplets” both get the same idea across — but “rain” is shorter and more direct. “Short” does not mean “vague.” Stuff your copy with features and benefits that sell the product, not hot air.

Tip four: keep it simple. Simplicity is the key to success in writing for a reader who needs to understand a complex product.

Even the most complicated product can be discussed in plain language. Here is a product manager’s catalog copy for a piece of pollution control equipment.

”The wetted wall sprayer system eliminates dry particle buildup on the dry internal duct wall by creating and maintaining an aqueous conditioning layer on the duct internal surface, thereby enhancing particle collection and system efficiency.”

A copywriter turned this copy muddle into clear language:

”An aqueous conditioning layer on the wall prevents buildup of dry particulate.”

Don’t drown them in jargon. To a non-engineer, ‘the splint stabilizes mobile dentition’ sounds complicated. ‘The splint holds loose teeth in place’ is better.

Jargon is “language more technical than the ideas it expresses,” as Susanne K. Langer defines it. Don’t make things sound complex.

What the Users Need

Tip five: ask the users. You can find what the users need by asking them directly.

You don’t need to conduct a major study of business-to-business consumers. A few phone calls to engineers familiar with your product should be enough to help you pick the features that matter.

A good copywriter can work out a product’s selling points by guessing or intuition if it is a kitchen appliance or a record club. But what if it’s a multistage distillation system? For products in technical fields that you are unfamiliar with, don’t rely on intuition.

For every product, there are one or more key selling features that your copy must talk about. The first place to look is with the client’s engineers. Have them point them out to you. Your “reason-why” copy can then go over these points one by one, adding leads, goodwill and orders to the stack you’ll eventually get.

Tip six. What is the piece supposed to do? Industrial selling is often a several-step process. Equipment rarely is ordered by mail. Direct marketing can get the prospect’s name and qualify him; jog his memory; answer an inquiry; send out the sales literature. Different pieces, different objectives.

Tip seven. How much technical copy should you use? Executives want only the briefest information on products. Engineers and technicians want all the facts.

For instance, here is a typical statement of performance for a Dry FGD System, a large industrial unit: ‘The average SO2 emission measured at the outlet duct was determined to be 0.410 lb/10^6 Btu (176 ng/J) on the basis of F-factors obtained from Orsat analyses of the flue gas during each test run.’

Managers do not need to know the specs. They want to know about savings and improvements to operations, for instance, while engineers want to know how the performance specs were obtained.

For managers, the literature said: “The dry system is a cost-effective alternative to the conventional wet scrubbers for coal-fired boiler flue gas. The waste product leaves as dry powder, rather than the wet sludge of a wet scrubber. Clean. Reliable.”

Tip eight: include the features. Yes, stress benefits. In fact, it’s hard to go wrong stressing benefits. But industrial readers need hard facts, too. Features like a pressure rating or construction materials offered can decide whether or not the buyer buys. No matter how boring they are, spell out the details.

When you do a consumer mail shot, you list all the features and benefits on a pad, but only the benefits go into the copy. Since an industrial prospect wants to know what features make the benefits possible, all the features go in the letter.

In industrial copy, the benefit and the feature usually go side by side, with the feature as the cause and the benefit as the effect.

L-band frequency and better MTI enable the radar to detect up to 50 times smaller targets than conventional S-band radars.

The Hydro-Clean has no pumps, mechanical systems or moving parts. It requires less energy and space than pump-driven clarifiers.

The geometry of the seal ring amplifies force on the disc. The seal quality improves with increasing pressure.

Tip nine: use visuals. Charts and tables summarize technical data quickly. Headlines give the sell, while tables provide details. Photographs add authenticity, while drawings make clear what may not be obvious.

Tip ten: use case histories. Buyers believe experience trumps theory, especially in the industrial world. They want proof that a product works “in the real world.” So a short, but specific case history is often enough to ease their doubts and prompt them to order.

Consumers can be persuaded by testimonials. ‘I use it because I like it’ is enough. Engineers and managers want to know more. The most convenient way to tell the whole story is a short case history which may include product features. For example, here is a short case history written for an ad by Gas Energy, Inc. promoting the Hitachi chiller-heater (a unit which cools and heats buildings):

”Miami: A 300,000 sq. ft. hospital connected a gas turbine generator to a 450-ton unit. The Hitachi Cogeneration unit now provides all cooling and heating. Compared with purchased electricity and its old electric centrifugal system, it’s saving the hospital $360,000 a year.”

Here, at least, industrial and consumer writers agree.

A satisfied customer is the best advertisement you can have.