How should employers handle employees involved in off-duty domestic violence?

Just ask NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell how hard it is to draw a line between personal and work-related misconduct.

Often the abused employee becomes a workplace problem. The abused employee may be distracted, scared or hurt. She or he could be late, absent, or short on production, focus or quality. Injuries require medical care, and when someone’s got a family member abusing her or him, time is lost to appointments and to being in poor health. They may report threats, and the abuser may show up at the workplace to stalk or harass the employee, endangering other employees, customers, or students. These problems come from the victim’s understandable attempt to deal with the abuse. Sometimes these employee productivity issues result in counseling, discipline, and even termination.

But there is also the opposite problem: an abuser who is a model employee at work, but whose private life is a disaster. Will discipline for off-hours conduct get them into court?

Short answer: in this litigious world, of course.

There’s no easy solution, but a few commonsense rules can help.

A Policy on Domestic Violence

Private issues have public results, so a policy on domestic violence is helpful. Suggest workers get help and offer some resources. If you are big and can afford it, offer a support group or class. All employees, but abused employees most of all, can benefit from domestic violence intervention, support, training, and even victim counseling and advocacy. Give HR some responsibility for keeping resources in-house. Shelters, counseling, legal, and social services should be posted on the intranet or at least on bulletin boards. EAP might help here.

Some states have laws on victims’ rights at work. Laws vary widely by state, and some, such as California, give victims much broader protection.

Be generous with victims needing time off. Go beyond the legal requirement. Absences due to court dates, injuries and doctor visits, counseling appointments, relocating, helping kids, or other family member, all may be acceptable leave reasons, particularly with documentation. Sometimes the leave could be FMLA-qualifying.

Respect the decision of a domestic violence victim, however frustrated you may be. Even if you are pretty sure you are right, and staying with the abuser is crazy or obviously dangerous, don’t impose your opinion. Offer support and resources, but let them decide. Coworkers too should be sensitive to the victim’s wishes.

Remember that men can be the victims of domestic violence, and women can be abusers. The CDC has an excellent publication with a wealth of statistics on each type of violence, sorted by sex, race and ethnicity.

Make sure your security service can keep out dangerous people. Include former spouses and relatives too.

Cooperate with police and the courts as much as you can when needed, while respecting employee privacy and confidentiality rights.

Accused Abuser

You may feel it’s easy to deal with an accused abuser, you just fire them. It’s not so simple. Don’t assume the accused employee is guilty; they may be innocent or a target of a bogus allegation by the other spouse to gain leverage in a divorce, alimony, child custody or support dispute. If you discipline or fire someone based on iffy facts, you could find yourself in court. Unless the problem connects in some obvious way to work, tread softly. If both spouses work for you, it’s easier to make a case for firing the employee spouse.

But obvious as it seems, enforce your workplace rules on threats or violence. No room for any questions: all employees are required to follow these rules. A violation can give you an independent basis to act if the person needs to go.

Strengthen your workplace violence policy. Clearly state that a criminal conviction or guilty plea for any act or threat of violence while employed is grounds for discipline or even termination (such as stalking, threatening, or domestic violence). Shoot to have conduct rules as tough as the EEOC and NLRB will let you get by with.

If you have an EAP, offer the abuser a path to get help. Many EAP’s offer anger-management classes for people who need to handle their frustrations.

Remember that bootlegger Al Capone got nailed, not for murder, which the feds could never prove, but for tax evasion that brought an 11-year federal prison sentence. Once released, he was no longer able to commit crimes. Good enough. An abuser who is holding on tight to his or her job may have other flaws that could give a legitimate reason to let them go. If they land in jail and can’t come to work, you can fire them for absences, if need be. Whether that effort is worth it depends on how badly you want to get rid of the problem.